Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Liar, Pants on Fire

This morning, while helping Alan with his hair, I noticed a dollar bill sticking out of his pocket. I casually asked him what he had in his pocket.  "Nothing", he said.  We went back and forth this way for several minutes.  I gave him every opportunity to tell me he had a dollar in his pocket, but he insisted on denying it, which led me to believe it probably wasn't his dollar.  Sure enough, it turned out to be some of Ben's birthday money.  Alan cried when I asked him to give it back.  He sincerely felt justified in taking it and angry/hurt over getting caught.

You see, their school sells snacks everyday for a dollar, and even though I pack a granola bar from home for him to eat at snack time,  Alan still feels ripped off that he can't purchase one every day.  He was still angry when he got on the bus.

Two such very different children. One who carelessly leaves his money lying around and saves up to spend on a large item, and the other who covets money and stores pennies in his pockets and under his pillow, and would spend every bit of it anywhere he can.

Once, during one of our foster care classes, we were asked to write down on a piece of paper the behavior that would make us most angry.  Overwhelmingly the behavior most people chose was lying.  At least I know I'm not alone.

So, I'm throwing this out there and asking for all your pearls of parenting wisdom.  We've tried a few different things. (It's been going on for a while now, even at school to his teacher) Really, I just want him to know what it feels like to be trusted.  I know I was a notorious liar in my younger days and my brothers couldn't trust me at all.  It's an awful feeling, but how does one explain that to a stubborn six year old.  I'm all ears.  Thanks in advance.

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